• (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
  • Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
  • Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
  • Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
  • Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
  • (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
  • Person: hey have you read any good books lately?
  • Me: are you ready for this conversation

ser-merlin-of-valyria:

e—www:

benedictedcumberbabeof221:

mighty-thor-of-assgard:

danniauttumns:

ser-merlin-of-valyria:

tumblr has fallen

david karp is dead

yahoo is coming

your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail.

it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference:

“the ministry has fallen

scrimgeour is dead

they are coming.”

image

how the fuck did anyone not get that reference

image

(via oresteajeunetpyladeivre)

bonushumor:

so apparently i’m a victim of cyber bullying..

image

(via okusuck)

Happy Birthday Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, sorry that character you hate is what you’re known for.

bootycaller:

who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me

(Source: idiotshitbaby, via shh-im-in-my-mindpalace)

chloweafterdark:

medic278:

unbridledkentuckyspirit:

thefuckshitmagnet:

humbledivachronicles:

mr—mosby:

stay at home dad leaves post its for his wife (part 2 ya lil shits)

Going to need more note pads… awwwwww!!!!

Oh. My. God.

I fuckin’ love every single bit of this post.

Perfect

i want this. i want a spouse like this and kids and that whole life. not now, but sooner than you think

(Source: 3daysgobyy, via gallifreyburning)

  • person: do you have tumblr?
  • me: yes
  • person: whats your url?
  • me: no

notahoe:

there are like 3 or 4 songs in my itunes library that make me go from depressed young adult to full on stripper in 0.02 seconds 

(via shh-im-in-my-mindpalace)


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